It’s been two and a half years of survival for us. I haven’t spent more than two hours apart from Jett. Feeding him has always been my priority. When you have a child with a feeding disorder, your life centers around meal times. Add FPIES to the list and there seems to be no down time at all. Our schedule has been so rigid with only a few short breaks throughout the day. We’ve used that time for feeding therapy, playing, shopping, cooking.. surviving. Time to do something for yourself!
Towards the end of last year, we enrolled Jett in Gymboree class. It was the first “normal” thing we brought into our schedule. We also started a monthly date night.. boy was that a treat!! I can’t explain what it feels like to be able to leave for an hour and a half with my husband and not have to worry about Jett. Our sitter is fantastic and Jett loves her so much.
January 1, I started 30 day challenges. I turn thirty in May and want to get back into shape before the big 3-0. I do a 30 day challenge every month. After Jett goes to bed, I push myself and squeeze in my exercises. This month I made my husband choose the challenge and I’m twisting his arm to participate with me. It’s much easier when I have a buddy!!
Time to Get Crazy
Today I did something out of character, for me anyway. Hot yoga. It had been 8 years since I last did yoga, and I NEVER did hot yoga.. because I hate being hot. I hate sweating. The colder, the better. Everyone needs a sweater and blanket in our house.
I had arranged for our sitter to come for an hour and a half and I had nothing to do. I’d been wanting to get back into yoga but it’s already a struggle to squeeze in my monthly challenges and my showers. So I quit making excuses and found a yoga studio a few minutes from our house. They had a special where you can pay $21 for unlimited sessions for 21 days. Can’t back out now!!
Jett over napped today so I was running behind and almost didn’t go.. I didn’t have my mat, or my yoga clothes because they’re all in the attic collecting dust. But I didn’t make any excuses and drove down to get my yoga on.
Yoga is supposed to be relaxing but I was definitely feeling anxious as I walked in the door. The instructor greeted me and was so friendly, I finally took a deep breath. It smelled and sounded familiar. She explained that they had been there for over ten years, that the room was 95-100 degrees today, and whatever I was able to do was “beautiful”. After paying for my next 21 days and renting a mat, I walked into a full room and found a spot along the side wall. Man, it was hot.
I laid down on my back and closed my eyes, trying to shut off my mind. I couldn’t help but to think they must have been running the heater for the last ten years to get it that hot and humid in there. It’s hard for me to focus on myself when there are so many other things racing through my head. It’s something I’ll have to work on over the next few weeks. Yoga is the perfect exercise for me because of that.
The instructor came in and began the session. I was determined to focus in on myself and do the best I could. Once I started moving, I didn’t notice the heat.. until my sweat started dripping down my throat, off my fingertips, and running down my shins. You guys, it was so hot. I managed to breathe and hold the poses that I somehow remembered. Some were a little shaky, but I did the whole hour. I had patience with myself. I didn’t fall and I didn’t scan the room to look at anyone else.
Spending an entire hour thinking about breathing and holding my balance was relaxing. Until the end when I did a shoulder stand and the sweat dripped off of my feet onto my face..
When we were finished, we all laid on our back with our eyes closed. I sweated out some of the stress I’ve accumulated over the last two and a half years. My mind started running again. Then someone dropped a freezing cold, wet towel in my hand. I almost screamed. But that cold cloth was so refreshing, I used it to wipe some of that stress away.
I drove home in my sweaty clothes feeling proud, I pushed myself today. I wasn’t really prepared but I’m so thankful I did it and started my yoga journey again. My post yoga shower was cathartic. Now it’s time to look at the schedule and plan out which days I’ll be able to escape again.
I hope this encourages you to find some time to do something for yourself. It took a total of an hour and a half from start to post shower. I’m sure the time for myself will help me be a better mother. I feel stronger and less stressed. Oh, and sore.. I’m definitely sore.
Sweaty, sweaty proof!